Are You a person that seeks approval or validation from others? Are you a people pleaser who needs to hear everyone else’s opinion before you make a decision?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you have a challenge on your hands because when you seek approval and validation from external sources, you are robbing yourself of your own independence and freedom. Why rob yourself of the life you want to live so you can live by the opinion or perception of another? Is other people’s path greater than your own? If you are still alive then God sure does have big plans for you. Let the source within you guide you instead. No human can understand what is at the end of the decisions you make. It’s really unfortunate a lot of people live their life this way and they can’t find self-fulfillment without that validation.
Self-fulfillment comes from deep within you. Self-confidence is the perception you have of your skills, strengths, and worth. If you put too much value on others’ opinions or how they perceive or react to you, it’s going to delay everything you have to bring forth and you becoming the best version of yourself.
Keep Your Power
Stop giving your power away to other people. It usually starts at a young age, with children seeking validation from their parents and teachers, and sometimes their friends, too. It only grows from there – you continue that path trying to achieve validation and recognition from your boss and co-workers, and you allow those people to control your emotions because you are so focused on pleasing them or maintaining harmony. Stop it! You don’t need other people to make you feel like you matter.
The hard truth is only you can give yourself that harmony you are seeking. Really do the work to work on your insecurities. Do you want assurance about your doubts by seeking validation from others? Getting doubts is a part of the human condition and it’s okay to have them. Praise yourself instead for recognizing the doubt so you can kick it in the butt before it messes with what you want. If you want a joyful fulfilling life then you have to look inside yourself for approval. How proud would you be of yourself knowing you owned all the steps you made in your life confidently without regrets?
Did you know the validation you seek from others comes at a cost? If their ideas for you fall through are they going to be there to pick you up or will they laugh in your face and say it’s not their fault? Are you willing to start over from that experience? How big will the setback be? Stop convincing yourself you need what they have to offer and trust your own ability. You have to learn to rely on yourself for that validation and reassurance.
Approval Seeking
Are you seeking approval because you are trying to boost your self-esteem? A typical sign of approval seeking is saying yes when you mean no, or agreeing even though you don’t agree. Are you trying to manipulate the environment to increase approval, and feeling upset when someone doesn’t agree with you?
Really look out for those signs. Seeking that validation makes you feel more anxious because even though you get a positive hit at the moment, it wears off so quickly you are left looking for another hit of validation. It’s a never-ending cycle of misery.
When you begin to nurture your self-validation, you create an environment that supports your beliefs, opinions, and self-esteem. If you find yourself falling back into seeking validation and approval from others, start by working on validating yourself. You have to learn to accept your true authentic self. I know this may be terrifying, but this is the way to know the authentic self you can come to appreciate. Over time it gets easier and easier, and it’s a habit you need to work out so it can become second nature. Once you establish self-validation, self-fulfillment will come. Thank me later!